Strangeplaces.net
101 Things Not To Say During Sex
1. But everybody looks funny naked!
2. You woke me up for that?
3. Did I mention the video camera?
4. Do you smell something burning?
5. (in a janitor's closet) And they say romance is dead...
6. Try breathing through your nose
7. A little rug burn ever hurt anyone!
8. Is that a Medic-Alert Pendant?
9. Sweetheart, did you lock the back door?
10. But whipped cream makes me break out
11. Person 1: This is your first time... right?
Person 2: Yeah... today
12. (in the No Tell Motel) Hurry up! This room rents by the Hour!
13. Can you please pass me the remote control?
14. Do you accept Visa?
15. ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
16. On second thought, let's turn off the lights.
17. And to think- I was really trying to pick up your friend!
18. So much for mouth-to-mouth.
19. (using body paint) Try not to leave any stains, okay?
20. Hope you're as good looking when I'm sober...
21. (holding a banana) It's just a little trick I learned at the zoo!
22. Do you get any premium movie channels?
23. Try not to smear my make-up, will ya!
24. (preparing to use peanut butter sexually) But I just steam-cleaned this couch!
25. Got any penicillin?
26. But I just brushed my teeth...
27. Smile, you're on Candid Camera!
28. I thought you had the keys to the handcuffs!
29. I want a baby!
30. So much for the fulfillment of sexual fantasies!
31. (in a menage a trois) Why am I doing all the work?
32. Maybe we should call Dr. Ruth...
33. Did you know the ceiling needs painting?
34. I think you have it on backwards
35. When is this supposed to feel good?
36. Put that blender back in the kitchen where it belongs!
37. You're good enough to do this for a living!
38. Is that blood on the headboard?
39. Did I remember to take my pill?
40. Are you sure I don't know you from somewhere?
41. I wish we got the Playboy channel...
42. That leak better be from the waterbed!
43. I told you it wouldn't work without batteries!
44. But my cat always sleeps on that pillow
45. Did I tell you my Aunt Martha died in this bed?
46. If you quit smoking you might have more endurance...
47. No, really... I do this part better myself!
48. It's nice being in bed with a woman I don't have to inflate!
49. This would be more fun with a few more people..
50. You're almost as good as my ex!
51. Do you know the definition of statutory rape?
52. Is that you I smell or is it your mattress stuffed with rotten potatoes?
53. You look younger than you feel
54. Perhaps you're just out of practice
55. You sweat more than a galloping stallion!
56. They're not cracker crumbs, it's just a rash
57. Now I know why he/she dumped you...
58. Does your husband own a sawed-off shotgun?
59. You give me reason to conclude that foreplay is overrated
60. What tampon?
61. Have you ever considered liposuction?
62. And to think, I didn't even have to buy you dinner!
63. What are you planning to make for breakfast?
64. I have a confession...
65. I was so horny tonight I would have taken a duck home!
66. Are those real or am I just behind the times?
67. Were you by any chance repressed as a child?
68. Is that a hanging sculpture?
69. You'll stil vote for me, won't you?
70. Did I mention my transsexual operation?
71. I really hate women who actually think sex means something!
72. Did you come yet, dear?
73. I'll tell you who I'm fanatasizing about if you tell me who you're fantasizing about...
74. A good plastic surgeon can take care of that in no time!
75. Does this count as a date?
76. Oprah Winfrey had a show about men like you!
77. Hic! I need another beer for this please
78. I think biting is romantic- don't you?
79. You can cook, too right?
80. When would you like to meet my parents?
81. Man: Maybe it would help if I thought about someone I really like...
Woman: Yourself?
82. Have you seen "Fatal Attraction"?
83. Sorry about the name tags, I'm not very good with names
84. Don't mind me.. I always file my nails in bed
85. (in a phone booth) Do you mind if I make a few phone calls?
86. I hope I didn't forget to turn the gas oven off. Do you have a light?
87. Don't worry, my dog's really friendly for a Doberman.
88. Sorry but I don't do toes!
89. You could at least ACT like you're enjoying it!
90. Petroleum jelly or no petroleum jelly, I said NO!
91. Keep it down, my mother is a light sleeper...
92. I'll bet you didn't know I work for "The Enquirer"
93. So that's why they call you MR. Flash!
94. My old girlfriend used to do it a LOT longer!
95. Is this a sin too?
96. I've slept with more women than Wilt Chamberlain!
97. Hey, when is it going to be my friend's turn?
98. Long kisses clog my sinuses...
99. Please understand that I'm only doing this for a raise...
100. How long do you plan to be "almost there"?
101. You mean you're NOT my blind date?
Tuesday, April 24, 2007
Yes, the official "What not to say in bed" list on a message board jewel I found...
Doin' a lot of internet self sexing, eh? Maybe you should keep it that way...
You looked so much better on cam than in person...
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
All right, dammit, who let the gross guy in here???
Damn honey your just about as good as my sister.
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Rude, Rude and WHAT THE HELL???????
Are you in yet?
Turn the lights on......Oh wait turn them back off.
That reminds me of my little brothers
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If it burns the condom, won't that have some sort of negative effect on your parts, as well???
Do you smell rubber burning??
Did you say CRUMBS or CRABS???
They're crumbs, I swear
Dude, seriously... get in the moment, here...
Did you remember to lock the back door??
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Said it before, will say it a hundred more times, men DO need directions or help into where they're SUPPOSED to go.
wrong hole
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
You looked so much better on cam than in person...
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
All right, dammit, who let the gross guy in here???
Damn honey your just about as good as my sister.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Rude, Rude and WHAT THE HELL???????
Are you in yet?
Turn the lights on......Oh wait turn them back off.
That reminds me of my little brothers
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
If it burns the condom, won't that have some sort of negative effect on your parts, as well???
Do you smell rubber burning??
Did you say CRUMBS or CRABS???
They're crumbs, I swear
Dude, seriously... get in the moment, here...
Did you remember to lock the back door??
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Said it before, will say it a hundred more times, men DO need directions or help into where they're SUPPOSED to go.
wrong hole
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Not really a "funny" per se, but a good read
Please, don't let yourself go to hell in a handbasket. She may not know how to tell you that you've turned into a pudgy pile of smelly shit, but she may hint at it. LOL
Seriously - this guy is right on in most everything he says. I will have to investigate his site more and root to see what I can find!!!
http://www.averagesinglemale.com/Three-Keys.html
Seriously - this guy is right on in most everything he says. I will have to investigate his site more and root to see what I can find!!!
http://www.averagesinglemale.com/Three-Keys.html
Thursday, April 5, 2007
masturbation and religion?
masturbation and religion? (Holy shit you gave up what for lent?)
How many people have been told that masturbation is against their religion but still do it? I have. Right now I am giving it up for lent, thank god only a few more days, and my wife just had a baby 2 weeks ago, so no play for me in a while...lol. Anyone else?
Response #1: (I was a naughty catholic girl)
I suppose growing up Catholic, some nun along the way said something about touching oneself as being "bad". Like most things I learned in the Catholic church, I ignored this advice.
Response #2: (I like to get in the mood by fixing myself a good stiff drink)
Good Lord, isn't it hard enough getting laid without playing hard to get with yourself???
Response #3: (Jacking off is bad um-kay)
I always heard that masturbation was "bad" because it wasn't procreative (is that a word?) - and that sex was something you did with your spouse, not yourself. Luckily I learned that there's not a thing wrong with masturbating!
Response #4: (I am all for masterbation if it saves the kids...)
I consider myself to be religious and I don't think that under certain circumstances mastrubation is NOT bad at all. More and more conservative Theologens are supporting masturbation for un-married folks in lew of falling victim to premarital sex.
Response #5: (Oh my you bad boy. Do you want to play dirty catholic girl?)
I believe that this message comes across in many forms. from the way we made fun of it as kids, to this kind of hidden message that it's bad for some reason, i do believe people get that message. growing up, i went through a lot of pain because of that very message. i thought i was unclean and unsaved because i had to use this as an outlet. i believed i was sinning and evil to the core. then i read a book Orle (sp?) Roberts wrote geared toward teens. In it he adressed this and said that it wasnt directly written about, and kind of said that in his mind it was okay. that really gave me a lot of relief, because i was really beating myself up over it. no, i do not believe it is a sin, and when i am in the mood i do it. it provides outlet for fantasies i cannot live, and it bridges the gap between my drive and my wife's lesser drive. i see it as a healthy extension of my sex life, and i enjoy it.
Response #6: ( a bit of history, do we really care?)
Christian churches have misinterpreted a passage in Genesis 38 about Onan "spilling his seed" and incurring God's wrath as a teaching against masterbation. The real point (in most Biblical scholars view) is that Onan was supposed to impregnate his dead brother's wife (Tamar) and practiced "coitus interuptus" instead. He did this because of the way inheritances worked. If she had a son, he would stand to inherit a piece of his father's estate (the father in question was Judah). Onan didn't want his share diluted by this extra share. So God smote him. Tamar ended up seducing Judah himself and her son's lineage led to King David and eventually to Jesus
Response #7: ( The bible as a great smut book)
I have some issues with the lesson in this book of the Bible. God smote Onan for spilling his seed on the ground to avoid impregnating his dead brother's wife and losing a hunk of his inheritance but it was OK for her to seduce and be impregnated by her father in law. It's little things like this that make me take a less than literal view of the Bible. I do not honestly believe there is anything that indicates masturbation is outlawed by any major religion in the world. I was reading about the Puritans the other night. They had some very strict laws about what was and wasn't acceptable. I think a great many of the taboos they dreamed up have become the basis for many of the hang-ups we have today.
Response #8: (you mean it is wrong for me to skip out on work to play with myself?)
As a christian, my point of view is this. Most look at it in the same light as alcoholism, Is it bibicaly wrong to drink? Absolutly not. What is wrong is when it gets out of hand and we fall into to the wrongs associated with out of control alcoholism or masturbation. Is it wrong to refuse your spouse sex then go masturbate? Yes. Is it wrong to neglect your job to masturbate? Yes. Is it wrong to neglect your children to masturbate? Yes. As for the story of Onan in Gen 38, the Lord was angry NOT for spilling his seed, but for failing to using it to impregnate his "relative".
Response #9: (Masturbation = happy less crabby people)
Well I suppose that one should not avoid their job, partner, children but one might be jollier if they alleviate themselves on occasion. To masturbate does not mean that these other things are going by the wayside. And likewise, if I have no "relative" does that mean I should be dry til I find one? I sure hope not.
Response from poster: ( Is lent over yet?)
Great posts. I only stopped because i found myself half way through lent, my wife was about to give birth and I hadn't given anything up for lent. So I figured that I would give up masturbation. I only have a few more days. Its been 2 weeks, so I'm sure I can wait a few more days, but man has it been hard.
Response # 10: (555-5555 and you too can talk to god... he said it was all right for me to get frisky with my johnson- it is all good.)
I find that I had to have a conversation with God and as a matter of course know that masturbation is a fine and loving thing to give myself. As a child I did not find religion to be kind or overly loving really. Rather demonizing actually. I like my current deal. And if I had to wait til I was coupled or having sex with someone else that would be rather lonely and oft a long wait. Better to be happy and satisfied. There are so many other things that just are not so good in life. Why deprive yourself of something so satisfying that is not harming others. It is a good thing.
How many people have been told that masturbation is against their religion but still do it? I have. Right now I am giving it up for lent, thank god only a few more days, and my wife just had a baby 2 weeks ago, so no play for me in a while...lol. Anyone else?
Response #1: (I was a naughty catholic girl)
I suppose growing up Catholic, some nun along the way said something about touching oneself as being "bad". Like most things I learned in the Catholic church, I ignored this advice.
Response #2: (I like to get in the mood by fixing myself a good stiff drink)
Good Lord, isn't it hard enough getting laid without playing hard to get with yourself???
Response #3: (Jacking off is bad um-kay)
I always heard that masturbation was "bad" because it wasn't procreative (is that a word?) - and that sex was something you did with your spouse, not yourself. Luckily I learned that there's not a thing wrong with masturbating!
Response #4: (I am all for masterbation if it saves the kids...)
I consider myself to be religious and I don't think that under certain circumstances mastrubation is NOT bad at all. More and more conservative Theologens are supporting masturbation for un-married folks in lew of falling victim to premarital sex.
Response #5: (Oh my you bad boy. Do you want to play dirty catholic girl?)
I believe that this message comes across in many forms. from the way we made fun of it as kids, to this kind of hidden message that it's bad for some reason, i do believe people get that message. growing up, i went through a lot of pain because of that very message. i thought i was unclean and unsaved because i had to use this as an outlet. i believed i was sinning and evil to the core. then i read a book Orle (sp?) Roberts wrote geared toward teens. In it he adressed this and said that it wasnt directly written about, and kind of said that in his mind it was okay. that really gave me a lot of relief, because i was really beating myself up over it. no, i do not believe it is a sin, and when i am in the mood i do it. it provides outlet for fantasies i cannot live, and it bridges the gap between my drive and my wife's lesser drive. i see it as a healthy extension of my sex life, and i enjoy it.
Response #6: ( a bit of history, do we really care?)
Christian churches have misinterpreted a passage in Genesis 38 about Onan "spilling his seed" and incurring God's wrath as a teaching against masterbation. The real point (in most Biblical scholars view) is that Onan was supposed to impregnate his dead brother's wife (Tamar) and practiced "coitus interuptus" instead. He did this because of the way inheritances worked. If she had a son, he would stand to inherit a piece of his father's estate (the father in question was Judah). Onan didn't want his share diluted by this extra share. So God smote him. Tamar ended up seducing Judah himself and her son's lineage led to King David and eventually to Jesus
Response #7: ( The bible as a great smut book)
I have some issues with the lesson in this book of the Bible. God smote Onan for spilling his seed on the ground to avoid impregnating his dead brother's wife and losing a hunk of his inheritance but it was OK for her to seduce and be impregnated by her father in law. It's little things like this that make me take a less than literal view of the Bible. I do not honestly believe there is anything that indicates masturbation is outlawed by any major religion in the world. I was reading about the Puritans the other night. They had some very strict laws about what was and wasn't acceptable. I think a great many of the taboos they dreamed up have become the basis for many of the hang-ups we have today.
Response #8: (you mean it is wrong for me to skip out on work to play with myself?)
As a christian, my point of view is this. Most look at it in the same light as alcoholism, Is it bibicaly wrong to drink? Absolutly not. What is wrong is when it gets out of hand and we fall into to the wrongs associated with out of control alcoholism or masturbation. Is it wrong to refuse your spouse sex then go masturbate? Yes. Is it wrong to neglect your job to masturbate? Yes. Is it wrong to neglect your children to masturbate? Yes. As for the story of Onan in Gen 38, the Lord was angry NOT for spilling his seed, but for failing to using it to impregnate his "relative".
Response #9: (Masturbation = happy less crabby people)
Well I suppose that one should not avoid their job, partner, children but one might be jollier if they alleviate themselves on occasion. To masturbate does not mean that these other things are going by the wayside. And likewise, if I have no "relative" does that mean I should be dry til I find one? I sure hope not.
Response from poster: ( Is lent over yet?)
Great posts. I only stopped because i found myself half way through lent, my wife was about to give birth and I hadn't given anything up for lent. So I figured that I would give up masturbation. I only have a few more days. Its been 2 weeks, so I'm sure I can wait a few more days, but man has it been hard.
Response # 10: (555-5555 and you too can talk to god... he said it was all right for me to get frisky with my johnson- it is all good.)
I find that I had to have a conversation with God and as a matter of course know that masturbation is a fine and loving thing to give myself. As a child I did not find religion to be kind or overly loving really. Rather demonizing actually. I like my current deal. And if I had to wait til I was coupled or having sex with someone else that would be rather lonely and oft a long wait. Better to be happy and satisfied. There are so many other things that just are not so good in life. Why deprive yourself of something so satisfying that is not harming others. It is a good thing.
Wednesday, April 4, 2007
It can change?
Change in size at 65 (by wbc_45 on Apr-2-07, 1 da 11 hr ago)
Just after my #65 birthday, my organ changed in sixe & shape. It had always been normal, straight and thick, bingo-it crooked up, and is about 1/2 size when errect. Does not look like mine anymore, any ideas, anyone?
Saturday, March 31, 2007
Why or WHY do people seem so stupid??
This was on JSO today...
Seems impossible, but could it be? (by Baby11612 on Mar-31-07, 13 min ago)
First of all I must mention that I have a two yr old and know about this kind of stuff, really, but still, I know this ques is completely ridiculous!!
I am in my second pack of Yasmin and am doing fine on it, etc. (I was on it in the past). Last month I got my period during the placebo week as predicted and although my period is not for another week and a half, I am wondering if I could be pregnant. I have been VERY nauseous for a week straight and won't eat all day, but then I'll have a craving for a burger and eat that and a hot dog and chicken wings (Yeah, haha). My mood has been TERRIBLE ups and downs. I do take antidepressants for depression and anxiety but my mood is just out of control right now. Well I took two preg tests this week, one in pm and other in am and they were negative. Could it be that it may not show up or something because I'm on the Pill? From a person that never gets sick like this, I am just confused. I don't want to be taking the Pill if I'm pregnant and do damage! I know this ques is really stupid but I just figured I'd see anyway. Thanks!
Lisa(30) Bryan(27) and.....little Julia, 2 years old!
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goodness. I love how she first starts it out as she knows this all. But thinks she is pregnant on birth control WITH bfns.
Seems impossible, but could it be? (by Baby11612 on Mar-31-07, 13 min ago)
First of all I must mention that I have a two yr old and know about this kind of stuff, really, but still, I know this ques is completely ridiculous!!
I am in my second pack of Yasmin and am doing fine on it, etc. (I was on it in the past). Last month I got my period during the placebo week as predicted and although my period is not for another week and a half, I am wondering if I could be pregnant. I have been VERY nauseous for a week straight and won't eat all day, but then I'll have a craving for a burger and eat that and a hot dog and chicken wings (Yeah, haha). My mood has been TERRIBLE ups and downs. I do take antidepressants for depression and anxiety but my mood is just out of control right now. Well I took two preg tests this week, one in pm and other in am and they were negative. Could it be that it may not show up or something because I'm on the Pill? From a person that never gets sick like this, I am just confused. I don't want to be taking the Pill if I'm pregnant and do damage! I know this ques is really stupid but I just figured I'd see anyway. Thanks!
Lisa(30) Bryan(27) and.....little Julia, 2 years old!
------
goodness. I love how she first starts it out as she knows this all. But thinks she is pregnant on birth control WITH bfns.
Thursday, March 29, 2007
The tip is like a bright red beacon in the night!
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I say don't shave em, You should wax em!
Shaving For A Doctor??? (Honey, doctors have seen it all but a little trim never hurt anyone.)
Hey I'm a kid who is 14 years old. I have a doctor's appointment coming up and I'm not sure if I should shave my balls or not. I don't want to look like a fool and just have hair everywhere, but I also do not want him to say something awkward like, "hey i see that you shave ur balls" or something along those lines. Just wondering, what do you do and what does the doctor say? I thought that I should shave them so that it is obvious that I shaved but there is still a reasonable amount of hair there. Please post what you do and what has happened.
Resonse #1: ( You know, I really like to play with my hair balls, they feel so furry between my... oh yeah where was I? ... Um, like I was saying...)
Hold off on the shaving. Your doctor has seen more balls, hairy and not, and yours will not be a surprise to him. You take the chance of you nicking yourself shaving and then having to explain that to him. Don't get too hung up on the amount of hair you have. Go get some old movies where the heros actually had bodies that were obviously male - they had hair on their chests and no doubt quite a bit below as well. Have fun with the doc - ask everything you want to know....
Response #2: (Whoa partner... I so want to be John Wayne! Now let me tell you how I wear my hair styled down there. I put just a little gel in and comb it over to the side. When I am frisky I wear it like a mohawk and tint it blue! If you want I can show you how... BTW I'll be waiting to hear how the appt went!)
Whoa partner...slow down. Why would a 14 year old boy even think about shaving his balls, especially for a doctor's appoinment? Pubic hair is a natural part of human development. Along with the hair comes increased penis and testicle size. These are signs that you are growing up. Granted as an adult male I do like the feel and appearnce of cropped pubic hair and keep mine relatively short and my balls shaved...but I don't understand why a kid would want to shave that area. My suggestion is you go to see your doctor just as you are. That way he can see that you are developing and maturing on schedule. Besides, there will be plenty of time for shaving, if that is something you really want to do, later. And FYI, when the hair grows back it itches like a mother. So go see the doctor, have fun and let me know how things go.
Hey I'm a kid who is 14 years old. I have a doctor's appointment coming up and I'm not sure if I should shave my balls or not. I don't want to look like a fool and just have hair everywhere, but I also do not want him to say something awkward like, "hey i see that you shave ur balls" or something along those lines. Just wondering, what do you do and what does the doctor say? I thought that I should shave them so that it is obvious that I shaved but there is still a reasonable amount of hair there. Please post what you do and what has happened.
Resonse #1: ( You know, I really like to play with my hair balls, they feel so furry between my... oh yeah where was I? ... Um, like I was saying...)
Hold off on the shaving. Your doctor has seen more balls, hairy and not, and yours will not be a surprise to him. You take the chance of you nicking yourself shaving and then having to explain that to him. Don't get too hung up on the amount of hair you have. Go get some old movies where the heros actually had bodies that were obviously male - they had hair on their chests and no doubt quite a bit below as well. Have fun with the doc - ask everything you want to know....
Response #2: (Whoa partner... I so want to be John Wayne! Now let me tell you how I wear my hair styled down there. I put just a little gel in and comb it over to the side. When I am frisky I wear it like a mohawk and tint it blue! If you want I can show you how... BTW I'll be waiting to hear how the appt went!)
Whoa partner...slow down. Why would a 14 year old boy even think about shaving his balls, especially for a doctor's appoinment? Pubic hair is a natural part of human development. Along with the hair comes increased penis and testicle size. These are signs that you are growing up. Granted as an adult male I do like the feel and appearnce of cropped pubic hair and keep mine relatively short and my balls shaved...but I don't understand why a kid would want to shave that area. My suggestion is you go to see your doctor just as you are. That way he can see that you are developing and maturing on schedule. Besides, there will be plenty of time for shaving, if that is something you really want to do, later. And FYI, when the hair grows back it itches like a mother. So go see the doctor, have fun and let me know how things go.
Wednesday, March 28, 2007
ACLU and Breast Feeding (Rather graphic and rude, and hell, I don't HAVE to add much...)
Posted: Sep 16, 2006 10:49 PM
Lactating Ladies sounds like either a movie title for a sick porn flick or a song...
WHO calls bf'ing having their child "on the tit"?
So a woman in the middle of a very busy and crowded Toys'R'Us decides to pop her titty out and begin suckling her child. A store employee asks her if she could refrain or use the family bathroom in the store (which is why they have those for you lactating ladies). The woman, in a flurry of self-righteousness, says "I know my rights! My child is on the tit! I can feed it when and wherever I want! Even in front of these children with their parents who will be asking questions in the car on the way home, that yeah, maybe their parents didn't want to address yet. But I don't care because I'm a breastfeeding bitch and I'm going to make a scene instead of just going to a private area!"
So when the woman started making a scene and causing a disturbance, they called security on her ass. Might have something to do with the fact that she was causing a disturbance in a very crowded mall on the anniversary of September 11th... *shrugs*.... just maybe.
Now the ACLU is trying to sue Toys'R'Us. Give me a fucking break. The lady should have just gone to the bathroom instead of screaming in the middle of the store. It may be a "civil right" but so are a lot of other things that aren't neccessarily appropriate.
Funny little quote I hear a lot from older, wiser Americans. "Your rights end where mine begin." Think about it.
------------------------------
Never too young to tell your child that some people want to breastfeed in public and that some people are freaking PERVS
Natural child care and porn aren't the topic. Not all parents want to have to explain to their 5 year old why that lady has a baby sucking on her breast, some parents like to wait until their children can fully comprehend what they're being told.
If someone complained that her breastfeeding made them uncomfortable in the middle of a crowded store, then the store has the right to ask her to do it in private or somewhere else. Her making a scene about it and having security called on her for being belligerent is no one's fault but her own.
I couldn't care less if someone is breast feeding in front of me. I've got tits I know what they look like, but if someone says, "Hey, could you stop doing that in front of my kids?" she should have been graceful enough to not do it there. She could have walked into the nearest Wal-mart and walked around barefoot with her tit hanging out and I'm sure no one would have cared... but someone there did.
-----------------------------------
Millitant breastfeeders? LMAO And if I find out that anyone I know is still breastfeeding their child at the age of 5, oh, I'm going to wonder about you
Breastfeeding isn't a crime. I'm not crazy about these militant breastfeeders, but the woman was standing up for her rights. And I do feel a little uncomfortable when I seeing someone breastfeeding in public, but the argument that people shouldn't do it because small children might see is ridiculous. In some cultures five year olds still breastfeed! Any parent who doesn't want to explain that to their child should leave the kid at home. The rest of society shouldn't pander to these overprotective parents. By being reluctant to simply say to the child, "That mommy is feeding her baby. I did that when you were a baby," the parents are teaching the kids that the most natural act in the world is dirty.
--------------------------------
Having a child = "squirting out a pup" - wow, who knew? I WANNA BE A BREEDER, TOO!!! Second paragraph - too funny. BF'ing will make your kid be a drain on society.
I agree with the notion that society shouldn't pander to overprotective parents. I also feel that parents should not be given special benefits soley because they squirted out a pup. Too many breeders think the fucking world revolves around their brat(s). Breasts serve a biological function. I can't stand militant anything, but this shouldn't have been such a big deal. I personally don't care to see a baby drinking milk straight from the tit, so I choose not to stare at a woman when she is feeding her child this way.
I also think if you are old enough to ask for it, then you're too old to have it. I knew a four year old who nursed. His mother was really into the La Leche League or whatever it's called and sent him to Montessori private schools and did all the supposedly right crunchy granola earth mother things she thought were good for him. This kid grew up to rob a convenience store.
-----------------
Oh, my... so eloquent. Just full of all sorts of jewels. Read on...
people have rights, and i reserve the right not to have to look at some bitch's nasty tittie and her disgusting potato lump of a baby sucking on it in public. that may be how the baby is fed, but the baby does not have to drink exclusively from the breast. there are breast pumps, you can put your breast milk into a bottle to feed to your child when in a public place. i dont think it is such a matter of "my child doesnt need to see this yet" but a matter of no one needs to see that. i do not want to look at some womans boobies. and yes, i could look else where, but i should not have to, i should not be inconvinienced because someone decided to have a baby and feed it strictly from the breast only. it is disrespectful to the people around you, and only a truly trashy bitch would pull a stunt like this.
I FEEL a little dirty after this last one...
Posted: Sep 16, 2006 10:49 PM
Lactating Ladies sounds like either a movie title for a sick porn flick or a song...
WHO calls bf'ing having their child "on the tit"?
So a woman in the middle of a very busy and crowded Toys'R'Us decides to pop her titty out and begin suckling her child. A store employee asks her if she could refrain or use the family bathroom in the store (which is why they have those for you lactating ladies). The woman, in a flurry of self-righteousness, says "I know my rights! My child is on the tit! I can feed it when and wherever I want! Even in front of these children with their parents who will be asking questions in the car on the way home, that yeah, maybe their parents didn't want to address yet. But I don't care because I'm a breastfeeding bitch and I'm going to make a scene instead of just going to a private area!"
So when the woman started making a scene and causing a disturbance, they called security on her ass. Might have something to do with the fact that she was causing a disturbance in a very crowded mall on the anniversary of September 11th... *shrugs*.... just maybe.
Now the ACLU is trying to sue Toys'R'Us. Give me a fucking break. The lady should have just gone to the bathroom instead of screaming in the middle of the store. It may be a "civil right" but so are a lot of other things that aren't neccessarily appropriate.
Funny little quote I hear a lot from older, wiser Americans. "Your rights end where mine begin." Think about it.
------------------------------
Never too young to tell your child that some people want to breastfeed in public and that some people are freaking PERVS
Natural child care and porn aren't the topic. Not all parents want to have to explain to their 5 year old why that lady has a baby sucking on her breast, some parents like to wait until their children can fully comprehend what they're being told.
If someone complained that her breastfeeding made them uncomfortable in the middle of a crowded store, then the store has the right to ask her to do it in private or somewhere else. Her making a scene about it and having security called on her for being belligerent is no one's fault but her own.
I couldn't care less if someone is breast feeding in front of me. I've got tits I know what they look like, but if someone says, "Hey, could you stop doing that in front of my kids?" she should have been graceful enough to not do it there. She could have walked into the nearest Wal-mart and walked around barefoot with her tit hanging out and I'm sure no one would have cared... but someone there did.
-----------------------------------
Millitant breastfeeders? LMAO And if I find out that anyone I know is still breastfeeding their child at the age of 5, oh, I'm going to wonder about you
Breastfeeding isn't a crime. I'm not crazy about these militant breastfeeders, but the woman was standing up for her rights. And I do feel a little uncomfortable when I seeing someone breastfeeding in public, but the argument that people shouldn't do it because small children might see is ridiculous. In some cultures five year olds still breastfeed! Any parent who doesn't want to explain that to their child should leave the kid at home. The rest of society shouldn't pander to these overprotective parents. By being reluctant to simply say to the child, "That mommy is feeding her baby. I did that when you were a baby," the parents are teaching the kids that the most natural act in the world is dirty.
--------------------------------
Having a child = "squirting out a pup" - wow, who knew? I WANNA BE A BREEDER, TOO!!! Second paragraph - too funny. BF'ing will make your kid be a drain on society.
I agree with the notion that society shouldn't pander to overprotective parents. I also feel that parents should not be given special benefits soley because they squirted out a pup. Too many breeders think the fucking world revolves around their brat(s). Breasts serve a biological function. I can't stand militant anything, but this shouldn't have been such a big deal. I personally don't care to see a baby drinking milk straight from the tit, so I choose not to stare at a woman when she is feeding her child this way.
I also think if you are old enough to ask for it, then you're too old to have it. I knew a four year old who nursed. His mother was really into the La Leche League or whatever it's called and sent him to Montessori private schools and did all the supposedly right crunchy granola earth mother things she thought were good for him. This kid grew up to rob a convenience store.
-----------------
Oh, my... so eloquent. Just full of all sorts of jewels. Read on...
people have rights, and i reserve the right not to have to look at some bitch's nasty tittie and her disgusting potato lump of a baby sucking on it in public. that may be how the baby is fed, but the baby does not have to drink exclusively from the breast. there are breast pumps, you can put your breast milk into a bottle to feed to your child when in a public place. i dont think it is such a matter of "my child doesnt need to see this yet" but a matter of no one needs to see that. i do not want to look at some womans boobies. and yes, i could look else where, but i should not have to, i should not be inconvinienced because someone decided to have a baby and feed it strictly from the breast only. it is disrespectful to the people around you, and only a truly trashy bitch would pull a stunt like this.
I FEEL a little dirty after this last one...
If the fact that screwing me *could* make your dick turn green and fall off, do you mind not knowing right away???
Original Post:
I belong to several online dating sites (i.e. Match). I see men who specify "Drug & Disease Free and looking for same". I have used this exact same phrase in my profile, and it just cuts thru me like a knife not to be part of the DDF club anymore.
The question is, should I even bother to corespond with a man who specifies that he's seeking DDF ladies, and only divulge if a if appears a relationship is developing? If I was on the man's end of this scenerio, I'd be pissed that I had been misled and/or lied to if I wasn't told up front.
OR, is the best way to to tell upfront before a face-to-face meeting at the risk of being rejected due to a knowledge deficit? Crying or Very sad
Location: Beaumont, TX
Response by someone who thinks that anyone not wanting to contract an STD is just PICKY and will not be FUN!! You're shitting me, right? My hoohoo will not make your dick turn purple, is that now a BAD thing?
If it were me and I came across a profile that said "DFF" I would skip over it and move on to the next one. If he is THAT picky then he's not going to be much fun to be around. At least that is how I see it.
I think it's so interesting that people are so picky. Of course I can understand describing yourself so that you can meet people that are the same but how much of a quality person do you think this guy is if he has "DFF" in his profile, ya know??
Don't know if I should sigh or scream that this individual could breed and share this stupidity...
I belong to several online dating sites (i.e. Match). I see men who specify "Drug & Disease Free and looking for same". I have used this exact same phrase in my profile, and it just cuts thru me like a knife not to be part of the DDF club anymore.
The question is, should I even bother to corespond with a man who specifies that he's seeking DDF ladies, and only divulge if a if appears a relationship is developing? If I was on the man's end of this scenerio, I'd be pissed that I had been misled and/or lied to if I wasn't told up front.
OR, is the best way to to tell upfront before a face-to-face meeting at the risk of being rejected due to a knowledge deficit? Crying or Very sad
Location: Beaumont, TX
Response by someone who thinks that anyone not wanting to contract an STD is just PICKY and will not be FUN!! You're shitting me, right? My hoohoo will not make your dick turn purple, is that now a BAD thing?
If it were me and I came across a profile that said "DFF" I would skip over it and move on to the next one. If he is THAT picky then he's not going to be much fun to be around. At least that is how I see it.
I think it's so interesting that people are so picky. Of course I can understand describing yourself so that you can meet people that are the same but how much of a quality person do you think this guy is if he has "DFF" in his profile, ya know??
Don't know if I should sigh or scream that this individual could breed and share this stupidity...
Hung like a horse!
do woman change down there? (down there? like at our toes? Oh you mean the vagina... yes nimrod you spelt it wrong but when your 9.5 inches long who need brains)
I was wondering if woman change as far as their vigina's size goes? Have been together for 16 yrs. she is 42 and i am 49. for about the last 8 months, whenever we have sex-which is usually 3 or 4 times a week- she will only let me use about half of my penis when i enter her. I am 9 1/2 inches long when erect, but can only get about half of it in her before she starts saying that it hurts. Has any other females had this problem and if so, what caused this to occur. We are both healthy and have had a great sex life till now. Any answers??
Response#1: (I am wincing in pain at the thought of your 9.5 inch rod)
just a thought, maybe now she is feeling comfortable enough to tell you its too much and to not go in so deep, maybe it has always hurt her.
Response by poster: (Harder harder harder, she would scream so your just jealous)
know that is not the case at all!! She used to really enjoy our times together and would like when I would use long, hard strokes because she had her hands on my butt pulling me in. She has no idea why the change and her doc says there is nothing wrong in there...
Response #2 (I buy the 5 in cucumbers at the grocery store so I know!)
The math doesn't add up. The average vagina is about four inches long. It can lengthen a bit during arousal but not double or triple in size. It is likely early on in your relationship things were hot and steamy and perhaps she didn't mind the discomfort. At any rate, women don't change in terms of shrinking "down there".
Response by poster: (yup I have these women picturing me naked)
thanks for the reply Gail.. I know for sure that I have not gotten longer, but everything was good till just a few months ago. We could do any position with full penetration, but now it is very limited.
Response #3: (where the hell did you pull 4 inches out of? My hole is bigger than that!)
I don't know where you got the statistic that the average vagina is only 4 inches long. There are many men that are his size and their women don't have a problem accommodating them. Besides he didn't say which doctor said she was completely healthy. Did she go to a gynecologist? Has she had a transvaginal ultrasound to determine if she possibly has endemetriosis (don't know if I spelled that right) or fibroid tumors? Both of those conditions could cause painful intercourse. If she hasn't a transvaginal ultrasound, I would recommend she get one done so she can find out what the problem is. If that comes back normal, maybe the problem is just lubrication (there are some over the counter I understand). At 42, she's likely perimenopausal which changes things for a lot of women. I'm 44 and so far I definitely don't lack lubrication but I understand some women need help in that area the closer they get to menopause.
Response #4: (no see the vagina is only 4 inches deep!)
Its true that the average vagina is only about 4 inches in depth. If it wasnt women, and their doctors, wouldnt be able to reach their cervix. When a women is aroused the vagina elongates. Heres a link for you. http://www.goaskalice.columbia.edu/2067.html
Response #5: (you see when you age, the vagina gets dry like the desert, so you need to lube that big boy up)
They can get dryer. That could cause some discomfort with a man of size. Lube Lube Lube Why didn't God make men with self lubricating glands? I know pre-cum is slipery and all but there just is not that mutch of it. By the time we put the lube in... it's over! Of course withthe way men get excited so easily we would all be walking around with big wet spots on the fronts of our pants or be wearing Rubber traing pants type garments!
Response # 6: (maybe she is just getting old and her women parts are drooping)
I had a friend whose bladder dropped at about that age and she said that made sex very uncomfortable. Maybe she should see her doctor abut the discomfort. --
Response # 7: ( I was thinking the same as you... if you stick your finger up there does it feel like a water balloon?)
Yes, I wondered if it was a prolapse too
Response #8: (Charge? Change? it doesn't matter but what the hell are you going to do with half of this guys dong?)
only half...mmmmmm...cut that half off and send it to me, i can use it. thanks. da bear. and yes women change down there. and they charge down there too.
Response #9: ( at least he wasn't thinking your penis is cute... he is a mortician so he is whacked)
oh huggybear!! Please don't use the word cut when thinking of my penis!!!!LOL And why in the world would you want half a penis??
Response #10: (don't get your package in a tizzy I was just kidding... But I was secretly thinking what I could do with half a penis... I could scare the little gray hair ladies at church with it!)
ITS A JOKE my surgeon told me many years ago. a man couldnt talk, he could only whisper and it was irritating to his wife of twenty years. she said honey you need to find out the cause of why you cant talk, only whisper. so the man went to the doctor and the doctor examined him and said ohhhhhhh i found out why you can only whisper and he told the man it was because he had a sixteen inch penis and it was pulling on his vocal cords. the man whispered oh doctor can you do something about it and the doctor said sure, ill cut off half your penis and im sure you can talk then. The man really wanted to talk so he had the operation. Well all was fine for awhile but of course his wife missed the other eight inches for sex and she sent the man back to the surgeon. he said doctor my wife wants you to re attach my other 8 inches so I can satisfy her with sixteen inches. The doctor whispered, Ill see if i can find that other eight inches. hehe. so i didnt mean to hurt your feelings hehe. now you see why. at least I hope so. best of luck to you. and being a morticians assistant for a long time you would be surprised what i have seen in the penis department. ' DA BEAR
I was wondering if woman change as far as their vigina's size goes? Have been together for 16 yrs. she is 42 and i am 49. for about the last 8 months, whenever we have sex-which is usually 3 or 4 times a week- she will only let me use about half of my penis when i enter her. I am 9 1/2 inches long when erect, but can only get about half of it in her before she starts saying that it hurts. Has any other females had this problem and if so, what caused this to occur. We are both healthy and have had a great sex life till now. Any answers??
Response#1: (I am wincing in pain at the thought of your 9.5 inch rod)
just a thought, maybe now she is feeling comfortable enough to tell you its too much and to not go in so deep, maybe it has always hurt her.
Response by poster: (Harder harder harder, she would scream so your just jealous)
know that is not the case at all!! She used to really enjoy our times together and would like when I would use long, hard strokes because she had her hands on my butt pulling me in. She has no idea why the change and her doc says there is nothing wrong in there...
Response #2 (I buy the 5 in cucumbers at the grocery store so I know!)
The math doesn't add up. The average vagina is about four inches long. It can lengthen a bit during arousal but not double or triple in size. It is likely early on in your relationship things were hot and steamy and perhaps she didn't mind the discomfort. At any rate, women don't change in terms of shrinking "down there".
Response by poster: (yup I have these women picturing me naked)
thanks for the reply Gail.. I know for sure that I have not gotten longer, but everything was good till just a few months ago. We could do any position with full penetration, but now it is very limited.
Response #3: (where the hell did you pull 4 inches out of? My hole is bigger than that!)
I don't know where you got the statistic that the average vagina is only 4 inches long. There are many men that are his size and their women don't have a problem accommodating them. Besides he didn't say which doctor said she was completely healthy. Did she go to a gynecologist? Has she had a transvaginal ultrasound to determine if she possibly has endemetriosis (don't know if I spelled that right) or fibroid tumors? Both of those conditions could cause painful intercourse. If she hasn't a transvaginal ultrasound, I would recommend she get one done so she can find out what the problem is. If that comes back normal, maybe the problem is just lubrication (there are some over the counter I understand). At 42, she's likely perimenopausal which changes things for a lot of women. I'm 44 and so far I definitely don't lack lubrication but I understand some women need help in that area the closer they get to menopause.
Response #4: (no see the vagina is only 4 inches deep!)
Its true that the average vagina is only about 4 inches in depth. If it wasnt women, and their doctors, wouldnt be able to reach their cervix. When a women is aroused the vagina elongates. Heres a link for you. http://www.goaskalice.columbia.edu/2067.html
Response #5: (you see when you age, the vagina gets dry like the desert, so you need to lube that big boy up)
They can get dryer. That could cause some discomfort with a man of size. Lube Lube Lube Why didn't God make men with self lubricating glands? I know pre-cum is slipery and all but there just is not that mutch of it. By the time we put the lube in... it's over! Of course withthe way men get excited so easily we would all be walking around with big wet spots on the fronts of our pants or be wearing Rubber traing pants type garments!
Response # 6: (maybe she is just getting old and her women parts are drooping)
I had a friend whose bladder dropped at about that age and she said that made sex very uncomfortable. Maybe she should see her doctor abut the discomfort. --
Response # 7: ( I was thinking the same as you... if you stick your finger up there does it feel like a water balloon?)
Yes, I wondered if it was a prolapse too
Response #8: (Charge? Change? it doesn't matter but what the hell are you going to do with half of this guys dong?)
only half...mmmmmm...cut that half off and send it to me, i can use it. thanks. da bear. and yes women change down there. and they charge down there too.
Response #9: ( at least he wasn't thinking your penis is cute... he is a mortician so he is whacked)
oh huggybear!! Please don't use the word cut when thinking of my penis!!!!LOL And why in the world would you want half a penis??
Response #10: (don't get your package in a tizzy I was just kidding... But I was secretly thinking what I could do with half a penis... I could scare the little gray hair ladies at church with it!)
ITS A JOKE my surgeon told me many years ago. a man couldnt talk, he could only whisper and it was irritating to his wife of twenty years. she said honey you need to find out the cause of why you cant talk, only whisper. so the man went to the doctor and the doctor examined him and said ohhhhhhh i found out why you can only whisper and he told the man it was because he had a sixteen inch penis and it was pulling on his vocal cords. the man whispered oh doctor can you do something about it and the doctor said sure, ill cut off half your penis and im sure you can talk then. The man really wanted to talk so he had the operation. Well all was fine for awhile but of course his wife missed the other eight inches for sex and she sent the man back to the surgeon. he said doctor my wife wants you to re attach my other 8 inches so I can satisfy her with sixteen inches. The doctor whispered, Ill see if i can find that other eight inches. hehe. so i didnt mean to hurt your feelings hehe. now you see why. at least I hope so. best of luck to you. and being a morticians assistant for a long time you would be surprised what i have seen in the penis department. ' DA BEAR
spit or swallow?
eating semen what can happen? (You ask smarted questions!)
Response # 1: (It tastes like chicken)
It tastes good. High in protein!
Response #2: (So jack off in a cup and try it! No harm in a no thank you helping*)
Not sure about that whole protein thing but no, there's no harm. And if it's your own semen, no possibility of harm. Be sure you are practicing safe sex if you are with any partners with whom you don't know their STD status. --
* No thank you helping is a small portion of a food you don't like but will eat just to satisfy the hostess
Response # 1: (It tastes like chicken)
It tastes good. High in protein!
Response #2: (So jack off in a cup and try it! No harm in a no thank you helping*)
Not sure about that whole protein thing but no, there's no harm. And if it's your own semen, no possibility of harm. Be sure you are practicing safe sex if you are with any partners with whom you don't know their STD status. --
* No thank you helping is a small portion of a food you don't like but will eat just to satisfy the hostess
It looks like the horses are once again safe from the glue factory...
vaginal glue? (Glue? like the stuff that makes things stick?)
recently had a vaginal disharge and i'm not sure what it was. It was, like, a clear gel like substance. it didn't have an odor, but it was like a glue. what could it be??
Response #1: (would it be considered organic? And should we really let our kids use it for arts and crafts? I'd be scared of a topical STD) (Um this guy works with stiff! Honey I think you need a better ventilator at the funeral home. Stop sniffing the formaldehyde!)
It appears that ol Elmer is messing around there somewhere. Id bottle it and sell it, make a little dough. I have the same thing from ears, now that is a problem huh, no smell either and sort of like glue. mmmmmmmm are we giving away secrets? well, my doctor said. if it dont smell dont worry about it. I cant hear anyhow and i guess thats why im a morticians assistant too, my smeller aint workin too well either. but i would see an ob/gyn for yours. i dont think he or she would do me anygood. but then again, one never knows does one. have a fine day. DA BEAR.
Response #2: (I just checked myself out and I have it too... It must be normal)
Sounds like normal vaginal discharge.
Response #3: (Egg white cervical mucus does not make good omelets FYI)
Sounds normal to me - this is what the TTCers call egg white cervical mucus. It happens just before and during ovulation. don't worry about it.
recently had a vaginal disharge and i'm not sure what it was. It was, like, a clear gel like substance. it didn't have an odor, but it was like a glue. what could it be??
Response #1: (would it be considered organic? And should we really let our kids use it for arts and crafts? I'd be scared of a topical STD) (Um this guy works with stiff! Honey I think you need a better ventilator at the funeral home. Stop sniffing the formaldehyde!)
It appears that ol Elmer is messing around there somewhere. Id bottle it and sell it, make a little dough. I have the same thing from ears, now that is a problem huh, no smell either and sort of like glue. mmmmmmmm are we giving away secrets? well, my doctor said. if it dont smell dont worry about it. I cant hear anyhow and i guess thats why im a morticians assistant too, my smeller aint workin too well either. but i would see an ob/gyn for yours. i dont think he or she would do me anygood. but then again, one never knows does one. have a fine day. DA BEAR.
Response #2: (I just checked myself out and I have it too... It must be normal)
Sounds like normal vaginal discharge.
Response #3: (Egg white cervical mucus does not make good omelets FYI)
Sounds normal to me - this is what the TTCers call egg white cervical mucus. It happens just before and during ovulation. don't worry about it.
Tuesday, March 27, 2007
I am a slut...don't tell anyone.
By yet another who does not get the public aspect of a public message board.
have an issue my last period was 2/20 until 2/24 i had intercoures that day. then i had intercourses on the 4th of may and the 9th of may. i found out i was pregnant on the 23rd of march. do you know how far along i would be or when was my ovulation. i was unfortunatly with two people on the 4th and the 9th im trying to figure it all out. please keep this private.
By, not an idiot..
You just posted to a public message board... The only way to know is through DNA testing after the birth of the baby
By yet another who does not get the public aspect of a public message board.
have an issue my last period was 2/20 until 2/24 i had intercoures that day. then i had intercourses on the 4th of may and the 9th of may. i found out i was pregnant on the 23rd of march. do you know how far along i would be or when was my ovulation. i was unfortunatly with two people on the 4th and the 9th im trying to figure it all out. please keep this private.
By, not an idiot..
You just posted to a public message board... The only way to know is through DNA testing after the birth of the baby
Your head looks like Darth Vedar's helmet on a very tiny stick...
Original Post:
I have been seeing this guy for about 3 years now and he asked me a question that I couldn't answer. I am hoping for some answers.
He wanted to know how his penis felt to me in detail. I told him that is felt extremely fantistic, nice and hard. He wanted more details, More adjectives.
How would you describe how the penis feels to you while inside of you?
Response #1:(Yeah, good luck with that)
just curious why he wants to know... I think I would be in the same boat if my guy was asking me a question like that. Best of luck to you figuring it out!
Response #2:(what type of a question is that?)
Umm... filling.
Did you ask him to decribe how your vagina feels when he's inside you?
Response #3: (Where do you want me to stick the cucumber?)
would get a cucumber and ask him to bend over for a quick demonstration.
Response #4:(Way too much info chicky. Keep your fluid talk to yourself)
According to one of the blogs on webmd, a woman has the most nerve endings in the lower third of her vagina. I do not know how long my vagina is before you would get to the cervix but it must be pretty long because I can feel every inch of his penis during intercourse. His penis throbs a lot the whole time we are having sex--especially right before he is about to orgasm. Every nerve ending in my vagina is throbing as a result and I have the most incredible vaginal orgasms (sometimes as many as 15 orgasms in one session of lovemaking) because of this. He usually hits my g-spot which seems to be about 3 inches into my vagina which feels great. The harder his penis is, the better it feels. When he hits my g-spot a certain way, alot of a clear watery and odorless substance comes out when I orgasm and it feels wonderful. When my husband orgasms, he shoots a powerful stream of ejaculate (and there's alot of it)and my vagina feels really full and warm and I quite often orgasm again when he does. Does that answer your question? When he asks you how his penis feels inside of you, he probably wants to know if you can feel every inch of his penis and the sensations you feel in your vagina. I would imagine this would vary with every woman depending on how long and how thick her partner's penis is. My husband's is average length but very thick (about 3 inches in diameter!) so I feel everything.
Response#5: ( Oh my, I think this one got off by reading the above post)
Wow ! This is a very beautiful sexy account. You're a very sexy articulate lady. As a guy I'd like to ask you a couple questions- According to the stats I've seen, almost all guys have a penis circumference of 6 inches or less when fully aroused, the average being 5 inches. We also keep hearing that 70% of women orgasm only clitorally. I'm wondering if your extreme pleasure is a function of your guy's extreme girth,( which unless you're off a bit with the math, makes him a real stallion of a man and you one blessed mare). What is your guy's circumference ? Has he done anything to increase it from some more human size ? (If so I'd love to be his student!)
Response#6: (A penis by any other name is just a penis)
I don't think it matters how we would describe a penis (and every one is different anyway). I think the guy wanted you just to talk to him about his penis and probably wouldn't have cared what you said as long as you talked. I suppose he was fishing for compliments ... in his own way ... A little like women who ask "do you like my breasts" and then are somewhat crestfallen and disappointed when the answer is just plain "yes".
Response #7: (drugs are bad um-KAY)
and hey, how did my meatloaf taste the other night when you were over for a home cooked meal. darn I bet it was mouthwatering and delicious and the onions i had in there should have added to the taste plus the hamburger was not hamburger, it was bison and its much better on the fat content, did you notice the tomatoes I used to cook the meatloaf. whew and then some added cheese too right in the inside of the loaf. Then you added ketchup, yuck you really tore me up on that but alas, men like it different. and as for your penis, i like it. it feels good in me and its hot and makes me gooey and...uh..care for another piece of meatloaf kind sire??? DA BEAR as for FCL ..say la veeeee...hehe. goot french.
I have been seeing this guy for about 3 years now and he asked me a question that I couldn't answer. I am hoping for some answers.
He wanted to know how his penis felt to me in detail. I told him that is felt extremely fantistic, nice and hard. He wanted more details, More adjectives.
How would you describe how the penis feels to you while inside of you?
Response #1:(Yeah, good luck with that)
just curious why he wants to know... I think I would be in the same boat if my guy was asking me a question like that. Best of luck to you figuring it out!
Response #2:(what type of a question is that?)
Umm... filling.
Did you ask him to decribe how your vagina feels when he's inside you?
Response #3: (Where do you want me to stick the cucumber?)
would get a cucumber and ask him to bend over for a quick demonstration.
Response #4:(Way too much info chicky. Keep your fluid talk to yourself)
According to one of the blogs on webmd, a woman has the most nerve endings in the lower third of her vagina. I do not know how long my vagina is before you would get to the cervix but it must be pretty long because I can feel every inch of his penis during intercourse. His penis throbs a lot the whole time we are having sex--especially right before he is about to orgasm. Every nerve ending in my vagina is throbing as a result and I have the most incredible vaginal orgasms (sometimes as many as 15 orgasms in one session of lovemaking) because of this. He usually hits my g-spot which seems to be about 3 inches into my vagina which feels great. The harder his penis is, the better it feels. When he hits my g-spot a certain way, alot of a clear watery and odorless substance comes out when I orgasm and it feels wonderful. When my husband orgasms, he shoots a powerful stream of ejaculate (and there's alot of it)and my vagina feels really full and warm and I quite often orgasm again when he does. Does that answer your question? When he asks you how his penis feels inside of you, he probably wants to know if you can feel every inch of his penis and the sensations you feel in your vagina. I would imagine this would vary with every woman depending on how long and how thick her partner's penis is. My husband's is average length but very thick (about 3 inches in diameter!) so I feel everything.
Response#5: ( Oh my, I think this one got off by reading the above post)
Wow ! This is a very beautiful sexy account. You're a very sexy articulate lady. As a guy I'd like to ask you a couple questions- According to the stats I've seen, almost all guys have a penis circumference of 6 inches or less when fully aroused, the average being 5 inches. We also keep hearing that 70% of women orgasm only clitorally. I'm wondering if your extreme pleasure is a function of your guy's extreme girth,( which unless you're off a bit with the math, makes him a real stallion of a man and you one blessed mare). What is your guy's circumference ? Has he done anything to increase it from some more human size ? (If so I'd love to be his student!)
Response#6: (A penis by any other name is just a penis)
I don't think it matters how we would describe a penis (and every one is different anyway). I think the guy wanted you just to talk to him about his penis and probably wouldn't have cared what you said as long as you talked. I suppose he was fishing for compliments ... in his own way ... A little like women who ask "do you like my breasts" and then are somewhat crestfallen and disappointed when the answer is just plain "yes".
Response #7: (drugs are bad um-KAY)
and hey, how did my meatloaf taste the other night when you were over for a home cooked meal. darn I bet it was mouthwatering and delicious and the onions i had in there should have added to the taste plus the hamburger was not hamburger, it was bison and its much better on the fat content, did you notice the tomatoes I used to cook the meatloaf. whew and then some added cheese too right in the inside of the loaf. Then you added ketchup, yuck you really tore me up on that but alas, men like it different. and as for your penis, i like it. it feels good in me and its hot and makes me gooey and...uh..care for another piece of meatloaf kind sire??? DA BEAR as for FCL ..say la veeeee...hehe. goot french.
Those damned germy spermies...
Unprotected sex while pregnant... (by someone who doesn't seem to MIND that they're pregnant and just barely through puberty, it's more interesting to her that they CONTINUE to have sex, now... a little late for your concern, dumbass, where were you before the baby was conceived, with your concern?)
What are the risks of having unprotected sex while pregnant? Please help ASAP, my 17 y/o brother-in-law and his 15 y/o girlfriend are about 3 months pregnant and think that it is okay to be having unprotected sex (and a lot of it). While I'm not exactly sure whether or not he's telling the truth about pulling out before ejaculation, I would like some feed back as to how this could effect the baby (i.e. if he has the stomach flu, or some other kind of illness). HELP!
---------------------------------------
Unprotected sex while pregnant... (by the common sense dispenser lady )
Unprotected sex is completely safe unless the doctor has put her on pelvic rest. It doesn't matter whether he pulls out or not because the baby is well protected in there.
Don't worry, the baby will be fine!
---------------------------
Unprotected sex while pregnant... (by someone who might be using that semi private room in the hospital to their sexual advantage. LOL)
never heard of unprotected sex being bad when your pregnant....
why would it be?? me and my SO have it and im 7 months preggo...
-------
Unprotected sex while pregnant... (by a poster more patient than me...)
Typically there is no danger in unprotected sex during pregnancy, but STDs are very serious during pregnancy, so if they are not monogomous, they should always use a condom (pulling out won't do anything for STDs). But if they are monogomous and have been tested for STDs, there's no harm in unprotected sex and no need for him to pull out.
---------
What are the risks of having unprotected sex while pregnant? Please help ASAP, my 17 y/o brother-in-law and his 15 y/o girlfriend are about 3 months pregnant and think that it is okay to be having unprotected sex (and a lot of it). While I'm not exactly sure whether or not he's telling the truth about pulling out before ejaculation, I would like some feed back as to how this could effect the baby (i.e. if he has the stomach flu, or some other kind of illness). HELP!
---------------------------------------
Unprotected sex while pregnant... (by the common sense dispenser lady )
Unprotected sex is completely safe unless the doctor has put her on pelvic rest. It doesn't matter whether he pulls out or not because the baby is well protected in there.
Don't worry, the baby will be fine!
---------------------------
Unprotected sex while pregnant... (by someone who might be using that semi private room in the hospital to their sexual advantage. LOL)
never heard of unprotected sex being bad when your pregnant....
why would it be?? me and my SO have it and im 7 months preggo...
-------
Unprotected sex while pregnant... (by a poster more patient than me...)
Typically there is no danger in unprotected sex during pregnancy, but STDs are very serious during pregnancy, so if they are not monogomous, they should always use a condom (pulling out won't do anything for STDs). But if they are monogomous and have been tested for STDs, there's no harm in unprotected sex and no need for him to pull out.
---------
Saturday, March 24, 2007
Desperately looking for a date...
You: unsuspecting lonely sad looking boy on subway.
Me: Girl with blue Urn. I spilled my grandmother on you, I'm sure you remember.
If you see this we should do lunch...this time without grandma.
Craigslist for the date challenged...
Me: Girl with blue Urn. I spilled my grandmother on you, I'm sure you remember.
If you see this we should do lunch...this time without grandma.
Craigslist for the date challenged...
When spelling matters...
DUTCHING? (HUH?)
when is the right time to dutch....how many times a week and why is it important?
~~~response #1(What the fuck does she want to know?)
What is dutching? Going to the Netherlands and wearing wooden shoes? Do you mean douching?
~~~reply from poster:(Where the hell are the Netherlands... having a blonde moment)
Yes! thats what I mean...Thanks... That was funny.hehehe!
~~~response#2 (this one is coming from a man)
Or perhaps "going dutch" meaning each paying their own way. I suspect the first guess was better than mine and I have no opinion on the matter. Not to mention no experience.
~~~reply from poster:(shit, I need to invest in a dictionary)
hahaha! Funny, Really! I just didn't know how to spell it.
~~~response#3 (Settle down class... todays topic is cleaning the vagina)
Now that everyone has had their spelling lesson. Here it goes no one needs to douch, your body will take care of cleansing itself. So douching may just cause other problems so the best bet is not to.
~~~response#4 (I took responder# 3's class)
Unless your doctor has told you to douche, it's really best NOT to do it all. It upsets the delicate balance of bacteria in the vagina and can cause a nasty infection. --
~~~response#5(Honey put down the bong)
you can go dutch on douching, pay the separate bills for the equipment and the douche and like Gail said go to Holland and get some wooden shoes and...naw. just dont douche unless you are told to by a health professional. or a healthy professional or a bear with credentials. best of luck and hey there was a musican named Eddie Duchin. Now you got me wondering if he douched or his wife douched. Its raining here in Denver, so nice and no snow this time. DA BEAR. Hi Chrissy hope you are behaving yourself. hehe.
So there you have it, you can't douche in Holland wearing wooden shoes and picking tulips... this girl needs a dictionary quick!
when is the right time to dutch....how many times a week and why is it important?
~~~response #1(What the fuck does she want to know?)
What is dutching? Going to the Netherlands and wearing wooden shoes? Do you mean douching?
~~~reply from poster:(Where the hell are the Netherlands... having a blonde moment)
Yes! thats what I mean...Thanks... That was funny.hehehe!
~~~response#2 (this one is coming from a man)
Or perhaps "going dutch" meaning each paying their own way. I suspect the first guess was better than mine and I have no opinion on the matter. Not to mention no experience.
~~~reply from poster:(shit, I need to invest in a dictionary)
hahaha! Funny, Really! I just didn't know how to spell it.
~~~response#3 (Settle down class... todays topic is cleaning the vagina)
Now that everyone has had their spelling lesson. Here it goes no one needs to douch, your body will take care of cleansing itself. So douching may just cause other problems so the best bet is not to.
~~~response#4 (I took responder# 3's class)
Unless your doctor has told you to douche, it's really best NOT to do it all. It upsets the delicate balance of bacteria in the vagina and can cause a nasty infection. --
~~~response#5(Honey put down the bong)
you can go dutch on douching, pay the separate bills for the equipment and the douche and like Gail said go to Holland and get some wooden shoes and...naw. just dont douche unless you are told to by a health professional. or a healthy professional or a bear with credentials. best of luck and hey there was a musican named Eddie Duchin. Now you got me wondering if he douched or his wife douched. Its raining here in Denver, so nice and no snow this time. DA BEAR. Hi Chrissy hope you are behaving yourself. hehe.
So there you have it, you can't douche in Holland wearing wooden shoes and picking tulips... this girl needs a dictionary quick!
Friday, March 23, 2007
A sloppy request
Previous begging post
Ok, so I'll just say again, I hope we get plenty of people posting stuff (I think there are 20+ potential authors that I've asked to join us), commenting on stuff and just reading this stuff.
Here is what my line of thinking was for putting this together (aside from essentially copying the idea from a wonderful lady who used to do it back in 2005, but has been invited to contribute here, now, as well):
This blog is TOTALLY not all TTC related, it can be about anything. My PREFERENCE would be staying away from the mental health boards as a general rule, because at least those people already REALIZE they're f-ed up and are trying to get support. BUT, if you see a trainwreck of sorts just too damned funny to pass up, then go for it! If it gets submitted to me and seems too mean to post, then I'll just ask that you post it yourself. LOL I don't mind taking shit over something, but would rather you get your own blame when it's due. LMAO
I'm also thinking that providing links to the websites we found them on and such should be a no-no. I don't want this to turn into us connecting the wide world of idiot psychos to the lambs, so to speak.
Please feel free to post things, yourself. I've just been making my own comments bold so you can tell the difference, easily. I think that's the easiest way to do it. I sent out a total of 20+ requests for people to write on it, so I'm hoping that those who opted to join in do that!
I figured, between all of us, we'd see some funny shit. It doesn't HAVE to be message board stuff, but those are easy pickins. It also, by NO MEANS, needs to be based on only one message board community at all. Go anywhere, look for the goofiest shit you can find, and post it! :o)
Another thing, which I'll try to help with if I see it got missed, is taking out the poster's name and info. If you copy a post from Webmd, for example, and paste it to the blog with all the names in it, the names will often turn into links and that's when anyone could see it and go make messes that we don't want the mods to have to clean up.
Any other rules to live by that anyone can think of? Also, did I forget to invite anyone???
If I know you, you can be added to the author's area. If not, then email me and I'll post your submissions (it's on the right side of the page, OR poeticjustice117@yahoo.com). Yes, it IS that exciting. :o)
Let's have fun with this, shall we?
Ok, so I'll just say again, I hope we get plenty of people posting stuff (I think there are 20+ potential authors that I've asked to join us), commenting on stuff and just reading this stuff.
Here is what my line of thinking was for putting this together (aside from essentially copying the idea from a wonderful lady who used to do it back in 2005, but has been invited to contribute here, now, as well):
This blog is TOTALLY not all TTC related, it can be about anything. My PREFERENCE would be staying away from the mental health boards as a general rule, because at least those people already REALIZE they're f-ed up and are trying to get support. BUT, if you see a trainwreck of sorts just too damned funny to pass up, then go for it! If it gets submitted to me and seems too mean to post, then I'll just ask that you post it yourself. LOL I don't mind taking shit over something, but would rather you get your own blame when it's due. LMAO
I'm also thinking that providing links to the websites we found them on and such should be a no-no. I don't want this to turn into us connecting the wide world of idiot psychos to the lambs, so to speak.
Please feel free to post things, yourself. I've just been making my own comments bold so you can tell the difference, easily. I think that's the easiest way to do it. I sent out a total of 20+ requests for people to write on it, so I'm hoping that those who opted to join in do that!
I figured, between all of us, we'd see some funny shit. It doesn't HAVE to be message board stuff, but those are easy pickins. It also, by NO MEANS, needs to be based on only one message board community at all. Go anywhere, look for the goofiest shit you can find, and post it! :o)
Another thing, which I'll try to help with if I see it got missed, is taking out the poster's name and info. If you copy a post from Webmd, for example, and paste it to the blog with all the names in it, the names will often turn into links and that's when anyone could see it and go make messes that we don't want the mods to have to clean up.
Any other rules to live by that anyone can think of? Also, did I forget to invite anyone???
If I know you, you can be added to the author's area. If not, then email me and I'll post your submissions (it's on the right side of the page, OR poeticjustice117@yahoo.com). Yes, it IS that exciting. :o)
Let's have fun with this, shall we?
Thursday, March 22, 2007
If you just agree with me for a minute, we can have sex.
Wow, if you agree with me, we can do the dirty deed. If you don't, then I don't think that even people that agree with you should have sex with you. Maybe this girl thinks that she and HER like-minded planet-mates are the ONLY ones who should EVER procreate, again... God Love Ya, R88888...
One shouldn't have sex with people who have very different views on reproductive rights.
By R***** on February 19, 2007
I think I have a right to birth control pills, condoms, an abortion should I need one, etc. And one of the ways I can help to encourage that right is to not have sex with people who think that I don't. Their views effectively mean that they think I should be punished for having sex, so clearly they think I should be having less sex. The natural consequence of that is that I think nobody should have sex with them. As I am pro-choice, I don't have sex with people who aren't, and I encourage other people to do likewise. If no pro-lifer could get laid, they'd probably change their views, and even if they didn't, they'd have what they deserve.
Were I pro-life, I certainly wouldn't have sex with anyone who wasn't. And I think no male who is pro-life should have sex with a female who isn't, since it is the woman's choice whether or not to abort, and he would be running the risk of causing an action he considers to be wrong. If you have sex with someone who is pro-choice where there is any risk of a baby being created, and you aren't female, you are effectively consenting to an abortion.
Now, if you're a pro-choice man and you have sex with a woman who absolutely would not have an abortion, you are either okay with raising that child or an idiot. But it does get more complicated as you can be personally against an abortion for yourself but okay with not taking away the choice from others.
If you're a pro-choice woman, than you really shouldn't have sex with a man whose views disagree with you, but you at least need the man to be okay with whatever level of care and support you expect from him should a child ensue, otherewise again, you're stupid.
This obviously only applies for consensual sex. Any situation that involves non-consensual sex just sucks and there is a clearly very wrong action on the part of the person doing the forcing, but no fault for the person who had no choice.
I wonder if this chick was drunk as hell when she typed this up or what.
One shouldn't have sex with people who have very different views on reproductive rights.
By R***** on February 19, 2007
I think I have a right to birth control pills, condoms, an abortion should I need one, etc. And one of the ways I can help to encourage that right is to not have sex with people who think that I don't. Their views effectively mean that they think I should be punished for having sex, so clearly they think I should be having less sex. The natural consequence of that is that I think nobody should have sex with them. As I am pro-choice, I don't have sex with people who aren't, and I encourage other people to do likewise. If no pro-lifer could get laid, they'd probably change their views, and even if they didn't, they'd have what they deserve.
Were I pro-life, I certainly wouldn't have sex with anyone who wasn't. And I think no male who is pro-life should have sex with a female who isn't, since it is the woman's choice whether or not to abort, and he would be running the risk of causing an action he considers to be wrong. If you have sex with someone who is pro-choice where there is any risk of a baby being created, and you aren't female, you are effectively consenting to an abortion.
Now, if you're a pro-choice man and you have sex with a woman who absolutely would not have an abortion, you are either okay with raising that child or an idiot. But it does get more complicated as you can be personally against an abortion for yourself but okay with not taking away the choice from others.
If you're a pro-choice woman, than you really shouldn't have sex with a man whose views disagree with you, but you at least need the man to be okay with whatever level of care and support you expect from him should a child ensue, otherewise again, you're stupid.
This obviously only applies for consensual sex. Any situation that involves non-consensual sex just sucks and there is a clearly very wrong action on the part of the person doing the forcing, but no fault for the person who had no choice.
I wonder if this chick was drunk as hell when she typed this up or what.
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